WHEN SILENCE SCREAMS: THE WORLD BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

WHEN SILENCE SCREAMS: THE WORLD BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

Aderinsola Awoyemi, Favour Awoyemi, Emmanuel Arunlogun, Tolulope Amufasaiye and Victoria Aremu.

The cries are unheard.

They are hit, pushed, restrained, slapped, yet their mouths are stuffed with clothes. Their hands and legs are tied down so they cannot raise their voices for the world to hear, for the world to listen to their pains, their torments. They are physically abused. They do not perform well in school like their siblings do or like the child of their parents do so they are useless. They would not amount to anything. They are failures. 

They walk down the street, in Abayas or in mini-skirts, they are dragged to a corner and mishandled. They try to scream, but the abusers shut them up with their hands. They rough handle them, one stroke at a time, one or two insertions at a time. The world calls them liars. They say, "what was she wearing?" How does the choice of her clothes matter in the sight of a crime? Yet, even when she is married, he forces himself on her, but they claim, "he is her husband, it is his right". They forget it is her body first. Consent matters regardless of who the abuser is. They get their dream jobs, and they get paid handsomely. Their partners earn lower and belittle them. 

Their partners control and exploit their finances. They redraw their money, they prevent their promotion and employment and they accumulate debt in their name. They violently abuse them, shut them down mentally and throw them into a terrible state.

They even control their victims' access to resources like money and transportation. 

They threaten and intimidate them so that they can conform. These abusers control the thoughts of their victims, their feelings and behavior. They try to control their victims social interactions, limiting their access to friends, family and other support networks. They manipulate their victims' perception of reality, making them question their own sanity. 

Another form by which abusers attack victims is by using word to harm, belittle and control them. They yell at them, call them names and put them down. They use technology to control, monitor and harass them by tracking their movements and communications. The abusers take it a notch higher by using spiritual or religious beliefs to control, gaslight and manipulate their victims. 

According to the  World Health Organisation (WHO), domestic violence is referred to as any behavior within an intimate relationship that causes physical, psychological, or sexual harm to those in the relationship, including acts of physical aggression, sexual coercion, psychological abuse, and controlling behaviors.

In Nigeria alone, studies show that at least 30% of women have experienced physical or sexual abuse from an intimate partner. The figures are likely higher, buried under stigma, social pressure, and a justice system that often looks the other way. Domestic violence does not discriminate. It cuts across class, age, religion, and gender. It affects not just women, but men, children, and even the elderly, leaving behind emotional scars that sometimes outlast the physical ones.

What makes domestic violence especially subtle is its invisibility.

It thrives in silence. Victims stay because of love, fear, financial dependence, or simply because they have nowhere else to go. In some homes, abuse is normalised. In others, it is denied altogether. Society’s tendency to dismiss domestic violence as a "private matters" reinforces a cycle of abuse that often spans generations.

Cultural norms play a role too. In many communities, women are raised to believe that endurance is a virtue and that speaking out is a betrayal of family honor. Yet, these abusers manipulate this silence, cloaking their actions in tradition and authority. The result is a system that punishes the victim more than the perpetrator.

Regardless, the tide is beginning to turn. Laws like the Violence Against Persons (Prohibition) Act (VAPP), passed in Nigeria in 2015, represent a step forward. Grassroots organisations and NGOs are giving survivors platforms to speak and safe spaces to heal. Social media has become a powerful tool for awareness, breaking through the silence that once protected abusers.

Still, legal frameworks and hashtags are not enough. The world needs a cultural shift, one that teaches children from an early age that love is not violent, that control is not care, and that silence helps the abuser, not the abused. Communities must learn to intervene rather than ignore. Schools, religious institutions, and the media must amplify messages that challenge toxic gender norms and promote healthy relationships.

The world should not be silent anymore. The cries should not be muffled. Physical marks should not be covered with long sleeves, trousers and face masks. Victims should not be blamed but be taught how to use their voices for healing, for justice for change. In the teachings of Malcolm X, we must strive for, "complete freedom, justice, and equality, by any means necessary." Freedom from abusers should be preached, yet freedom from ourselves and the bonds that choke our voices should be encouraged. 

The world must hear our cries.